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Try to convince your wife that the infidelity is not how she is saying it is like trying to tell someone who was hit by a car that it did not hurt as much as they felt it did. You are not correcting facts. You are invalidating lived experience. When you argue her version, minimise details, reframe intent, or explain what you meant, what she hears is this “I need my version to survive more than I need to understand your pain.” From her nervous system’s point of view, the betrayal already shattere
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