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One thing I want people to understand is that calm does not automatically mean helpful. You can be calm, gentle, and patient, and still unintentionally make the moment bigger. And often the reason is simple. The talking itself becomes the fuel. When we keep asking questions or revisiting the problem, the child stays focused on what just went wrong instead of moving forward. So yes, I lead with kindness. Always. But kindness is not endless processing in the heat of the moment. Kindness can be one
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